The FILM.

Such prestigious news outlets as In Touch and OK! magazine are constantly casting about for new ideas of sexiness: the MILF (Palin?), the cougar (Demi Moore), the hot doctor (McDreamy), the androgynous female (Agyness Deyn), the guy who is hot because he has bangs (Zefron, Chuck Bass's boyfriend). Specifically, attempts are often made to figure out how to position older women as sexy, like, Yo, some bitch can still be hot even if she's like, 40.

This is troublesome, of course, because not only does it suggest that the attractive older woman is an exception to the rule, but also because in order to be classified as a MILF or Cougar, you still have to look like you're 25.

And so, in what is something of a feminist effort but mostly just a reflection of a shockingly passed over phenomenon, I would like to present an all-new category of female sexiness: the FILM, or Fuck I'd Like to Mom. This term is meant to describe bonafied hotties, who are not moving into the slowly sagging cragginess of their 40s, but rather, are still in the prime time of their lives, and yet appear particularly destined for MILFhood.

To wit:














Back in the day, Reese Witherspoon was the foremost FILM of her time.














Ladies and gentleman, the FILM of our time.


















And this one.




























Isn't she poised to develop some cougary tawniness?!































She'll say to Dakota Fanning, "When I was YOUR age, wearing vibrating underwear was the makings of a great comedic scene!"

All very attractive now, sure, but it's kind of like, all of their features are so in line, they possess in such perfection in all the things that should make an attractive female, that it almost makes them kind of boring. For now. Just wait until they hit 35, and suddenly, they will explode into FILMdom.